Why Does My Vocal Coach Keep Asking, "How Does That Feel?"
Why Does My Vocal Coach Keep Asking, "How Does That Feel?"
One of the questions I ask my vocal coaching clients most often is:
"How did that feel?"
When a singer is relatively new to vocal coaching, they sometimes find it hard to know how to answer this question.
Some singers immediately assume it's a test and start searching for the "correct" answer. Others laugh and say, "I don't know!" A few apologise because they think they should have noticed something. Some become a little frustrated with me because they just want me to tell them whether they did the exercise "right" or not.
All of these response are totally fair and understandable. Many of us have grown up in education systems where success comes from pleasing the teacher. We look for approval. We want to know whether we're right. We don’t have time to waste talking about how we feel.
However, there are some very good reasons why many vocal coaches ask this question, and the truth is, there isn't actually a right answer to it. (Yep, I know that’s annoying too.) I’m writing this blog because I know that understanding the why behind this question makes a lot easier to a) find an authentic answer b) progress your singing and c) be able to visualise a path forwards with your vocal training, even when it feels confusing and hard.
Finding singing hard right now? You might like this blog post: Why does my voice hurt when I sing?
Singing isn't just something we hear
It's something we feel. Imagine we're working on a chorus that's always felt difficult. We make one small change, and suddenly the high note feels easier. Before moving on to the next topic or challenge, I’ll often ask:
"How did that feel?"
Taking this moment to pause and reflect is a really important factor in you being able to repeat this result on your own. For example, if you notice that it required less effort, felt more stable or simply felt easier to produce, you're much more likely to recognise that sensation again next time you sing it. There's actually some fascinating science behind this.
Your brain is constantly receiving information from your breathing, muscles, joints and movement. This awareness of where your body is and how it's moving is called proprioception, and it plays a huge role in how we learn physical skills.
The more aware you become of what your voice and body are doing, the more information you have available when you're practising on your own.
Instead of thinking:
"I need to do this properly but can’t remember how…”
you can begin asking yourself:
"What am I feeling and hearing in my voice today?”
This is how motor skills are developed- by engaging your senses and working with your body, rather than relying on trial and error alone.
Sometimes "I don't know" is the perfect answer
Especially at the beginning.
Many singers simply aren't yet used to approaching singing in this way, and that makes a lot of sense. Learning to notice what your voice and body are doing is a skill in itself.
So if you say, "I don't know," that's absolutely okay. Simply pausing for a few seconds gives your brain a chance to absorb what we've just done, even if you don't have a concrete answer yet.
Vocal training can absolutely be intellectually fascinating if that's your thing. But most of the learning doesn't happen through thinking harder. It happens through engaging with what you can feel and hear. Your nervous system is making sense of new coordinations long before you've found the words to describe them.
I'm not trying to catch you out
One of the biggest reasons I ask this question has very little to do with me as the coach judging the correctness of your singing. In contemporary singing, we are rarely concerned about fitting into a specific box of correctness. Whilst there are some technical parameters to consider, there is also a lot of room for creativity and individualisation. So one of the other reasons that I ask you “How does it feel?’ is this:
I don't want you to become dependent on my opinion.
Your singing lessons are on average 1 hour per week. Your singing career is much much more than this.
Ultimately, you need to embody your voice, your expression and your artistic choices.
My job isn't to create singers who cannot assess their own voice r troubleshoot their own challenges. It's to help you understand your own voice well enough that you can make confident decisions, even when I'm not there.
I'll help you learn what to notice
If "How did that feel?" feels like too big a question, we can make it more specific.
For example, I might ask:
Did that feel easier or harder?
Did you hear the difference between x and y?
Which one felt smoother?
Which one did you prefer?
If 10 is really effortful and 1 feels easy, where would you put that?
There isn't a hidden correct answer.
We're simply gathering information together and giving your brain the opportunity to notice patterns.
Joining the dots
One of my goals is for you to become increasingly independent between lessons. If you absorb the sensations of what singing feels like when it's working well, you're much more likely to recognise and reproduce similar patterns when you're practising at home.
I love seeing my clients begin to join the dots between the technical stuff we explore together and the songs they are working on in their practice. Equally, when something doesn't feel quite right, that same awareness helps you troubleshoot. Instead of relying on guesswork, you can start recognising what has changed and experiment your way back to something that feels freer and more coordinated.
That means you're not just following instructions. You're learning how to solve problems, experiment and make artistic decisions independently. Because that's where lasting progress happens
Want to know what this approach looks like in practice? You can read about it here: What happens in an online vocal coaching assessment?
Do I Give Any Feedback?
Of course, I can and will tell you when something sounds freer, more balanced or better coordinated. I know that receiving feedback is important, but lasting progress doesn't come from trying to please your vocal coach. It comes from developing your own awareness.
The better you become at noticing what your body is doing, the easier it becomes to recognise what helps your voice work well, solve problems when they arise, and make artistic choices that feel authentic to you.
That's why I keep asking:
"How did that feel?"
Not because I'm testing you.
My goal isn't for you to become dependent on me.
It's for you to become confident without me.
Ready to understand your voice better?
If you're looking for a vocal coach who will guide you, challenge you, and help you truly understand your own voice, I'd love to help.
The first step is to book a free Discovery Call. We'll talk about your singing, your goals, and whether we're the right fit to work together.
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Your vocal coach isn't looking for a "correct" answer. They're encouraging you to notice what your voice and body are doing. Learning to recognise sensations like ease, effort, stability or tension helps you become more aware of your own voice and makes it easier to improve between lessons.
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Yes. Many singers find this difficult at first because they've spent much more time listening to their voice than paying attention to how it feels. Developing this awareness is a skill that grows with practice, and it's completely normal to need guidance in the beginning.
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Proprioception is your body's awareness of its own position and movement. In singing, it helps you notice sensations such as breath, coordination, effort and muscle tension. While singing should never rely on sensation alone, developing proprioceptive awareness can make learning new vocal skills more effective and help you become a more independent singer.
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Absolutely. In fact, asking questions like "How did that feel?" can be especially valuable online because they encourage you to become an active participant in your own learning rather than relying on your teacher being in the room. Many singers find that this approach helps them become more confident and self-sufficient between lessons.
